I know that sadness cannot change anythin
Then, let me be honest a little
Honesty, but without control over the divulgence

As long as the door is closed, don't care about anyone else
One person sitting in an empty stall of a theatre
Moblie phone, let it rest for a night
Difficult, tried to cut away the images of the memories
Tears cannot flow past twelve o'clock
Happy Birthday, I say this to myself, the candle is lit, the loneliness becomes colder
Happy Birthday, tears have melted, I want to thank everything you have given and taken away
Still love you with a little hatred, still need time to balance
Passionate love's wounds, the rebirth of images, wishing me a Happy Birthday..

__________________

26 september 2009

today wake up 8am so so so tired and prepared myself to school for the 1st band practice..
really miss those day at school hu..i wish i could go back that day...
i found im old when saw my junior laugh so lound like me last time hehe

s.y become our conductor..i like the way she teaching...because she tell us the right way we should play..XO
the only thing is my leg so pain...because so long didnt hug my tuba sososo....haiz..
really cant wait the day to perform...

the middle of the practice s.y keep saying so hungry haha so funny..
so around 1pm..we dismiss and i sit s.y car..yj,wei wei sit xy car then we go mid together..

erm...so 2pm i back as usuall working working...silky girl got one stuff i name her as doraemon very gila..keep saying those stupid word make me call her friend to tangkap her back hahaha...quiet happy working at banana peel cause those friend i knew are so 3838..

hope im enough mature now...

erm..24 september 2009 10.25pm...i make a decision to sms him..i think..just a friend so sometime have a sms should be ok..hope im not too cheap i just think to be a friend..so i to ask him have a lunch this saturday..but he reject me..nevermind la..maybe is not the time yet..or maybe he already have other ..anywhere i think i already put down everthing..really put down le...huh...what i have to do now is concentrade on my work!got today i and sook yin and hui ting when to pyramid i i i!!stupid cannot tahan bought a bag cost rm49.90!!and use almost rm100 this month didnt save any money again!!!!

huh...nowdays busy with my work..3day full feel really tired..today is my 1st time open the kiosk and close the kiosk when go back that time feel very nervous cause scare forget to take the bag all those stuff inside the cabinet saw all the shop close already lagi takut untill feel want go toilet..but i think all should be fine...huh 2 day also didnt get any commission cause sales really really bad..and i hope that "hak chai" really didnt lie to post me that genting member silver card tommorrow if not!!im going to!!cannot do anything also!!!

so sien la always face those cakap besar customer haiz!!!!!"this is not a good quality"  "echis soo expensive"  "just a normal slippers only wohh"  "do u think the harga should be like this"  "p***** is a very cheap country,not usa wohh"
come on la..dont want buy please dont talk so much go la!!!!!hate hate hate!!!they dont understand the different between this and that slippers!!

and i hate one fatty boy boy!!when im resting he ask me "auntie" when i look who fellu touching me!! he say somemore "auntie where is the rubbish dump" baga baga baga!!!!!haloooo am i look like a auntie!!!!im only 18 years old!!!!come one la!!make me no mood only!!!haiz!!!baga!@
tommorow full again...but last day XO

money.....face or not?nope...

today wake up 8.45am,,cause have to teach my cousin study "tim chi" m,y auntie fetch him come 9.45am..huh..make me wake up so so early..then untill 11.10am..i got to prepared myself to sing K with my friend..my auntie promise me will fetch me go mid by 11.30am but..i wait untill 11.55pm she also havent come back..so i take cab go loo..reach there almost 12.17pm and around rm8 fly..

then reach red box sing sing untill 1.50pm and got to go for work and rm23 gone

around 5.05pm bola ask me go kim gary eat cause kuen got voucher sooo half prize and rm 9 fly~

..X(

then around 7.30pm,got one indian guy is from genting ask us to join a member and talk a lot alot of benefit so i and my supervisor join and rm45 gone...

luckly my supervisor gave me rm40 for commission!thanks!

and when i call my dad to fetch me he say wait 15 minute..so like usuall thought want sit infront of girl but not place..then i saw got one place is empty i really want go there but i stop myself cause i saw him,i.................................my brain say go say hi to him..but i didnt i turn away and go...i think he saw me too..

i dont know why will saw him today..i work so long already also never saw him..not even ones!god..my heart like want come out already..i dont know why i cant face him................maybe...'kam kai' bah..huh..if 2nd time i saw him again i think i will dare myself to say 'hi'~

when u say u wan let me go,i didnt say anything,just thought u need freedom..

got sometime i force to forget you,but i know i cry also no use..

just think to be alone

only me can understand, his romance..

just tell me the true who u love the most...

actually u really love him ,it just for punish me.

say u didnt miss her..it just want me to feel good..

i got no reason,only can let go

after awhile u say u love me

actually u really love her.

she really good??

actually u really miss her..just tell it out

i dont want to ask.and close my ear..

i really dont hope to listen that you say you love her...

confuse night...

it already 3.35am but i still cannot sleep...so i take my jie jie hp to online...dont know why that time my hand so gatal..at the google box i type his full name..and i found his blog...i tell myself dont care anything about his life..but i cant control myself and click every blog he write...im glad cause he still remember me at the same i feel very sad too..i d ont know which want is true and which is not true..i keep read that blog i keep asking myself how about "M"?how about "M"?izit his use to lie me??

my jie hp ran out of credit but i still want to continue so i use mine..but untill august my name or my news not anymore appear in his blog maybe slowly slowly his already put down..huh...anywhere i really wish him live in happy life..

everyday pretent nothing when my friend ask me about his thing..actually im feel so sad..

it make me think back the day when he say me "lie" him im a bad gurl..so hurt

but from his blog i dont the day we together he is so stress..maybe this is the better choice..

human must grow up la lym!......

14/09/2009

this month i didnt werite blog at all..cause really busy busy busy... i think i have to start write my blog on last friday...

i received a massage from my ta jie ask me whether want to wpork at jusco for rm60perday for 7 hour at mid valley..i dont think i want la..cause i already promise other working place..

so i sms py,mk and yong jia..then yj say ok..

sat-erm...i go working as usuall then around 11.30am yj reach..i thought she will drve her car come to work..but she say parking very expensive so...come by bus...

so around 3.30pm i go find her for lunch but she say cannot....maybe 4.30..

she wear like a chef la..so bad i forget to take her a photo..

4.30pm i find her again..she sy 5pm

5pm i find her again..then her boss say cannot la...so...i say nevermind and i only have 20minute to have my dinner..

i run run go to that oasis food court and ta pou..

i ate my working place and i only have 6 minute to eat...huh...what a rushing dinner day

around 6.30pm pin yin come le..we thought wanted to watch movie..but already full..so me,her and yj(with a so so so tired face)when to stven tea garden to have our dinner..then we saw wei wei,ann nie, and michelle chow..woah..ann nie so se** oh...they want to watch mv too..but i dont think they can book la...

10pm have to wait my jie fu to fetch..today is the most relaxing day for me in this few month..we 3 that a lot of 38 picture..very funny.. then 10.30opm we when back le...

sun...today go work very very early 11.55am reach my working place then i go sox astro world

go chit chat + gossip with my friend..

then after a few minute bola arrive..she ask me go yam cha..cause she havent to start work with her sister too...

first we when to makan place to havent their lunch..

then bola and me when to steven tea garden to yam cha...that time is really many people..

then bola ask me go jusco toilet to makaup..

after that i have to start working..

then lza told me that she not really like that 'ly' and i say me too..huh..hope i can 55 find a new job and run away from this shop...